Crash

Whore.
The Word dripped out
of your repulsive mouth
like pure deadly venom.
You bit hard,
fully aware of the weight
of that word
as it hung in the air
until it began to burn,
igniting from the fury
radiating off of my soul.

Apologies
came spewing out
of that arrogant mouth,
wet and meaningless,
simply there because
you noticed
my tightened jaw,
my clenches fists,
screaming with desire
to make contact
with your thick skull.

The only thing
which held back
my aching fist
from pounding against
those overly enormous teeth
in that loathsome mouth,
was that you were driving,
and had I taken
the chance
and knocked you unconscious
we would have crashed.



We crashed anyway.

The Lovers' Dance

The Lovers' Dance

I feel weightless,
Despite the full grown man,
Pressing his body against my own.
His skin is wet and delightfully
Salty as I kiss the indent of his neck,
Pulling him closer, deeper,
Feeling his heart race upon my chest.

We are dancers, moving gracefully
To the beat of each other’s heart,
We twist and glide with the rhythmic pounding
Only breaking the silence to let
A moan of ecstasy escape our chapped lips.

The beat only gets faster,
As we hold each other tighter,
Shaking and shuddering,
A mess of convulsions in each other’s arms,
Your warmth makes me weightless,
Your scent makes me smile,
And the movement of our bodies in unison,
Makes me scream.
This is love.

The Architecture of Friendship

I'm not going to explain this poem, just take it as you will. Just keep in mind it IS about a FRIENDSHIP, not a love relationship of any kind. Just losing a best friend. I don't know if it fully sums up how much it hurt...but...its a start.

The Architecture of Friendship

Define forever.
Continuous, ever-lasting?
Like the black ink injected
Into the cold bare flesh of
My right foot.
Permanent.
Unlike the friendship we built
Out of crumbling bricks,
Masonry of blind men who build
Stone walls of broken, empty promises.

The distance was torturous.
Unable to deny how eagerly you
Relied on me as your solid foundation.
I began to disintegrate,
No longer holding you up, or guiding your frame.
Repair was not an option,
The cracks were only worsening.
Sharp debris slicing through my stomach
As this happy home collapsed.

No goodbye, no explanation,
You picked up your pieces with ease,
Wood splinters, a mess of glass from broken windows,
And with little effort you discovered a stronger foundation.
She held you taller than I ever could
And molded you into picture perfection.
While I remained as concrete dust,
Abandoned.

Heartbeat Lullaby

Here's another one dedicated to my baby. He has the biggest, warmest heart of any person i've ever met, and i am the luckiest person alive because some nights I get the privilege of laying my head on his chest and falling asleep in his arms to the sound of his heart beat. It's the best feeling in the world.

I am not 100% content with the ending of this poem...but here it is for now. Suggestions welcome.

Love you, Alex.

Heartbeat Lullaby

He pulls me close
And I rest my weary head
Upon his strong bare chest
Listening to the delicate beat
Of his pounding heart.

I imagine it to be
Something enormous in size
Taking up every bit of space
Behind the flesh, muscle, bone,
Beating rhythmically.

Into the enveloping warmth of sleep
I am gently pulled
By the lullaby of his giant heart,
I find myself smiling because I know
Part of it beats for me.

Peer Pressure

I'm not a huge fan of this one, but I decided to post it for now, and maybe change it later. So if anyone reads this feel free to comment with suggestions.
Anyway this one is in honor of my 21st birthday, which is in...an hour. However, I do not drink. I never have drank, and I don't plan to for my 21st birthday. Most people are appalled by this, and tell me how much I'm missing out on. Yea...thats what i really need to do. Start drinking when i'm stressed to my limit. Good idea.

Ha so this is too all of you "peer pressurers" out there. Back off.
Thank you.



Peer Pressure

Only a sip
They said, with eyes glazed over
One sip and you’ll understand
It all.
It takes away the world
If only for a moments time,
The morning after
Is an after-thought.

The night is young,
So gulp this down
And find the courage
To creep out of that hardened shell,
The thing that keeps you quiet
And agonizingly shy.
Oh how quickly it will
Disintegrate with each cool sip.

Soon you’ll find
You have no regrets.
The world is your playground!
Act like a fool,
Collapse on the ground,
Regurgitate dinner
Partially digested
On the busy city sidewalk.

A sober life is nothing but
a life wasted.
Forget the worries.
Sure, you may act
A little out of character,
But all in fun, and fun for everyone.
Just one sip, and you’ll understand,
It all.

Our Eternal War

Here's another one for ya.
Another angsty tale. But hey, whats better than angsty poetry? I mean...besides NOT angsty poetry.
Anyways. I'm sure this poem might need some explaining...but I don't feel much like going into detail for it will only ruin it. Basically its about a very unhealthy, angry, stressful friendship.
Read on for some angst....


Our Eternal War

We often sit and
We try to
Discuss.
Disgust?
Anger spoken
Fragments sharp as
Glass shattered
Windows, mirrors,
Anything that might
Convey your reflection.

We speak in broken
Language, masked
By feelings, hurt and vulnerable.
We resent everything
About each other, our situation,
The world, this impossible
Friendship. Consumed with rage,
I feel this tense knot
Of internally burning rope
Burn, burning, smoke
Devouring us both.

Arguments,
arrangements
Of harsh words,
Our new form of
“friendly” communication.
I hurt you, a while back,
And every second you
Find an opening in our
Infuriating interactions
You shove my mistakes
In my cold vacant lap.

Most obvious,
To me, is your
Want, your need,
To make sure I do not find
Happiness, contentment,
And most definitely not love,
If it does not involve you.
You would turn the whole world
Against me, a war to my being,
Just to be there as
My only ally.

Die(t)

I wrote this, oddly enough, while on a plane to Missouri last Thursday. I had been reading Poetry: An Introduction for class, and I came across the paragraph of using specific words for different connotations. They talked about the work "Lite" and how it signifies it is even "lighter" than "light" to make low fat foods seem more appealing. I had always wondered why they used the word "lite" rather than "light", but when you think about it, it makes alot of sense. I always get interested in anythign surrounding dieting and society and media's way of making us all feel as though we should be thinner and we should be on a diet and only eat LITE and LOW FAT foods. See, i am recovered from Anorexia Nervosa, for about 5 or 6 years now, and i have a very strong opinion about dieting and society's pressure on us to be waif-thin. So this poem is mildly dark, and possibly offending....but it's supposed to show the extremes of dieting in our society.

Enjoy!

Die(t)

Lite as a feather,
Stiff as a
Bored look on
A lover’s face.
You are out of shape,
And his face
Says all you need
To know.

Strict enforcer you
Yearn for a simple,
Deliberate way to DIE(t).
To shed this heavy
Coat of fuzzy self
Disdain and embarrassment.
To lose it all is a
Wonderous, painful, achievement.

Small bones, weak
But such a beautiful
White like the fur
Which struggles to keep
Your paper skin from purpling,
Shivering, rattling, empty,
As you step up to
The cold, clammy number-beast.

Numbers, lower, higher,
Nonexistent, or so is the goal
You reach for, nothing else
Could possibly be worth it,
To be able to, one day,
(in your perfect wasteland)
Stare in a mirror of judgment
Only to see absolutely nothing.

You are finally lite,
Nonexistent, empty,
Complete definition of
True Beauty, so true indeed,
The world can’t handle it,
And so they rest your ivory, aching bones
So high above us, and yet
Buried beneath, not even enough for worms.

A Simple Explanation of Complex Emotions

Here is a poem very close to my heart. My muse for this poem was of course my boyfriend, Alex. I use the word simple in a positive way...not simple as in boring or plain...but simple as in easy to get along with and please and make happy. And how he simply makes me so happy as well.

So this is dedicated to my love, Alex Sobiloff. I love you. Thank you for being simple. <3

A Simple Explanation of Complex Emotions

Simple warmth of another
Simple soul, but unlike any other.
Simple smile that exposes the truth
Of simple happiness not felt since youth.

A simple man, yet not simple at all
With a simply alluring essence he stands tall.
He’s simply intelligent but yet so unaware,
That my entire world simply halts whenever he is near.