The Ultimate Deciever
I am deeply afraid that I have fallen in love with a person who does not exist. To come to this realization, and even accept this as a possibility, is almost impossible for me at this time, but the idea keeps bouncing around my skull trying to make me wake the fuck up. Is it true, then? I can so easily be swayed by words that are rarely followed up by actions? Am I that infatuated that I have become blind to what is real? Who is this man…or boy, it seems…that I have so haphazardly fallen for?
You did a good job. You kept it going, kept the lies flowing until I had no other choice but to believe them. You seemed to study me for a while, but you learned fast. You knew what I wanted, what I needed, and how vulnerable I was. You knew I had a weak spot for you since day one, and you also knew how to use that to your advantage.
You did a great job. You know how to use those words so eloquently that you poison the minds of vulnerable (possibly a little needy) girls. Who can deny your charm? The way you mold yourself into this creation of an amazing guy, talented, musical, intelligent, charming, funny, caring, and we can’t forget, hopeless romantic. No sir. Can’t forget the romance. You know, the constant lack of interest in whether the girl you “love” is nearby. Or how about all those grand dates we went on? Like that one time you bought me coffee…or maybe a diet pepsi at a local convenient store. You spoil me rotten. Christmas came and went without even a card to tell me you care. And then Valentine’s Day, without a card or rose, or corny box of chocolates to show you were thinking about me. Some days, you’d leave me alone for hours to “write” and get high…and me being the sorry pathetic son of a bitch I am, sat by the phone and the computer waiting for a call or to see you online. Yea, it’s pretty wonderful when I drive to your house to hang out, and I sit on the couch watching movie after movie while you run around, skate, smoke, write, record, get drunk, do as you please while I die of boredom. Oh baby, you are SUCH a hopeless romantic.
You did an excellent job. You conceal the truth with such ease. You make lies into poetry, and force people to believe it. It’s really quite a talent, so bravo. Medal of Honor to the ultimate deceiver. And your excuses aren’t too shabby either, but they could use some work. Or maybe it was my eagerness to believe you. Who knows. Me being a silly drunken-in-love girlfriend to a lying man-whore, WANTED to believe you weren’t flirting with girls behind her back. Online. Offline. I guess it’s pretty foolish to assume that your boyfriend (who claims to be IN LOVE with you) would be perfectly content with JUST you…no one else. And, I suppose I shouldn’t worry if you tell other women how beautiful they are and how you’d LOVE to hang out with them. I mean…its all honesty, right? Well I mean…you did try to hide it (fail). And you did lie when I confronted you (fail). AND you did try to turn the situation around on me, so you could take the blame and guilt off of you (fail). But in the end, you realized you were breaking the perfect mold, and apologies came pouring out. And I eagerly accepted ever lie you fed me. And you knew I would.
You are so talented. The way you spray out lies like a can of Krylon on a blank, unsuspecting wall. “I love you. You’re my everything” slides out of your crooked mouth without a moment’s hesitation. And I soaked up every lie like an eager sponge, wanting to be drenched in every possibility that you TRULY loved me. But you don’t, and you never did, and it’s only now that I can see I poured my heart and soul into a cold-hearted shell of a human being. But I finally opened my eyes which had seemingly been sewn shut with my own love, and found you were never the boy I knew. You were merely an illusion, using your infinite vocabulary to your advantage to keep me blinded from the truth. A plus work. I ignored all the signs, the warnings, the disappointments, only to find out I wasted months of my life on someone who was never worth a moment of my time. And you knew all along. When you got caught, you were so desperate to tell me how much you loved me and didn’t deserve me. And then you ran away, like you always do. When things start to get serious, you run like a scared puppy with your tale between your legs. Congratulations. You are officially the most pathetic human being I have ever had the unfortunate luck to have met. You hide behind this mask of words and deception, but you don’t realize. You’re so “talented” you’re fooling yourself. Your “friends” think you’re scum (and I’d have to agree). The girls you pursue don’t take you seriously (and they shouldn’t, I made that mistake). You are so afraid of actually having to grow up, that you sabotage and run away from someone who actually loved you for who you were…or rather…who she thought you were. But don’t worry; fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. But know that you will NEVER fool me again.
You amaze me with the bullshit you say. You try so hard to be someone else that maybe you don't even realize the pain you cause others. But you can’t hide from yourself forever. The selfish con-artist. 26 with not much to show for it except a couple dead brain cells and some crazy stories of drug induced fiascos. You work one day a week...if you feel like it. Other weeks you choose not to go into work at all, despite the fact you've NEVER taken your girlfriend out to dinner. You have this dream of music making you millions, but what if it doesn't? It takes a lot of effort to make it big in the music industry. Tough skin. Hard work. Determination. All qualities which you appear to lack. 4 more years and you'll be 30. And alone. Mooching off your parents, friends, and any unsuspecting lover that makes the mistake of stumbling into your outstretched arms. But not me. NOT ME. And maybe one day you'll see yourself for who you really are and you'll change your ways. But by then every "I'm sorry" you say will sound like a lie.
