Our Eternal War

Here's another one for ya.
Another angsty tale. But hey, whats better than angsty poetry? I mean...besides NOT angsty poetry.
Anyways. I'm sure this poem might need some explaining...but I don't feel much like going into detail for it will only ruin it. Basically its about a very unhealthy, angry, stressful friendship.
Read on for some angst....


Our Eternal War

We often sit and
We try to
Discuss.
Disgust?
Anger spoken
Fragments sharp as
Glass shattered
Windows, mirrors,
Anything that might
Convey your reflection.

We speak in broken
Language, masked
By feelings, hurt and vulnerable.
We resent everything
About each other, our situation,
The world, this impossible
Friendship. Consumed with rage,
I feel this tense knot
Of internally burning rope
Burn, burning, smoke
Devouring us both.

Arguments,
arrangements
Of harsh words,
Our new form of
“friendly” communication.
I hurt you, a while back,
And every second you
Find an opening in our
Infuriating interactions
You shove my mistakes
In my cold vacant lap.

Most obvious,
To me, is your
Want, your need,
To make sure I do not find
Happiness, contentment,
And most definitely not love,
If it does not involve you.
You would turn the whole world
Against me, a war to my being,
Just to be there as
My only ally.

Die(t)

I wrote this, oddly enough, while on a plane to Missouri last Thursday. I had been reading Poetry: An Introduction for class, and I came across the paragraph of using specific words for different connotations. They talked about the work "Lite" and how it signifies it is even "lighter" than "light" to make low fat foods seem more appealing. I had always wondered why they used the word "lite" rather than "light", but when you think about it, it makes alot of sense. I always get interested in anythign surrounding dieting and society and media's way of making us all feel as though we should be thinner and we should be on a diet and only eat LITE and LOW FAT foods. See, i am recovered from Anorexia Nervosa, for about 5 or 6 years now, and i have a very strong opinion about dieting and society's pressure on us to be waif-thin. So this poem is mildly dark, and possibly offending....but it's supposed to show the extremes of dieting in our society.

Enjoy!

Die(t)

Lite as a feather,
Stiff as a
Bored look on
A lover’s face.
You are out of shape,
And his face
Says all you need
To know.

Strict enforcer you
Yearn for a simple,
Deliberate way to DIE(t).
To shed this heavy
Coat of fuzzy self
Disdain and embarrassment.
To lose it all is a
Wonderous, painful, achievement.

Small bones, weak
But such a beautiful
White like the fur
Which struggles to keep
Your paper skin from purpling,
Shivering, rattling, empty,
As you step up to
The cold, clammy number-beast.

Numbers, lower, higher,
Nonexistent, or so is the goal
You reach for, nothing else
Could possibly be worth it,
To be able to, one day,
(in your perfect wasteland)
Stare in a mirror of judgment
Only to see absolutely nothing.

You are finally lite,
Nonexistent, empty,
Complete definition of
True Beauty, so true indeed,
The world can’t handle it,
And so they rest your ivory, aching bones
So high above us, and yet
Buried beneath, not even enough for worms.

A Simple Explanation of Complex Emotions

Here is a poem very close to my heart. My muse for this poem was of course my boyfriend, Alex. I use the word simple in a positive way...not simple as in boring or plain...but simple as in easy to get along with and please and make happy. And how he simply makes me so happy as well.

So this is dedicated to my love, Alex Sobiloff. I love you. Thank you for being simple. <3

A Simple Explanation of Complex Emotions

Simple warmth of another
Simple soul, but unlike any other.
Simple smile that exposes the truth
Of simple happiness not felt since youth.

A simple man, yet not simple at all
With a simply alluring essence he stands tall.
He’s simply intelligent but yet so unaware,
That my entire world simply halts whenever he is near.